13 Warning Signs of Codependency

At a Glance: Codependency Warning Signs

• Codependency BasicsA behavioral condition where self-worth becomes tied to helping or controlling others, often called “relationship addiction.”
• Common SignsDifficulty setting boundaries, denial of personal needs, poor self-esteem, and extreme loyalty to unhealthy relationships.
  Emotional Impact: Suppressed feelings, guilt, anxiety, and depression are frequent outcomes.
• Connection to AddictionCodependency often develops in families impacted by substance abuse, reinforcing cycles of enabling.
• Getting HelpFamily therapy, structured programs, and professional support can break codependent patterns and restore healthy relationships.

Codependency is a word we hear often these days, but how does it relate to substance abuse, addiction, and recovery? In this blog, we’ll discuss what codependency is, several of the primary warning signs, and the relationship between codependency and addiction. We will also provide helpful information on how to treat both codependency and addiction within the family unit. First, let’s begin with the basics: What is codependency?

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What is Codependency?

According to the National Mental Health Association, codependency is an emotional and behavioral condition that can be passed down from one generation to the next. Also known as “relationship addiction,” codependent people typically develop relationships that are one-sided and emotionally damaging to both parties involved.1

Although codependency was originally identified ten years ago while studying the relationships of families of alcoholics, the definition has expanded to encompass a dysfunctional way of living that can affect anyone.

Many families dealing with addiction use codependency and other unhealthy behaviors as a way to cope. If you are exhibiting some of the signs listed below, that doesn’t necessarily mean you are codependent. However, many codependent people may recognize several or all of the following signs in their lives. As with all mental health disorders and issues, codependency should always be diagnosed by a clinical psychologist.

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Whether you are addicted to drugs and alcohol or your loved one is suffering from addiction, you may be in a codependent relationship or be codependent yourself. The National Mental Health Association defines the following characteristics as some of the most common warning signs of codependency.1,2

The Relationship Between Codependency and Addiction

Addiction changes the behaviors of the person abusing drugs and alcohol, but it can also change the behaviors of their loved ones in many negative ways. A loved one’s enabling behaviors can become codependency when they become controlled by the addicted person’s behavior and are dependent on the addict for attention and self-esteem.

If your loved one is addicted to drugs and alcohol, it’s normal to want to help them in any way you can. However, when your helping behaviors become extreme, you may end up enabling them instead, by encouraging their addiction and promoting sickness instead of health.

In short, codependency is a form of enabling. If you’re unsure, compare your behaviors with these signs of enabling. If you are in a codependent relationship that involves substance abuse and addiction, you may do one or more of the following things:

• Take over the addicted person’s responsibilities
• Make excuses for the addicted person
• Sacrifice your own mental, emotional, and physical health to protect the addict from the consequences of their substance abuse
• Lie to protect the addicted person

Codependency and addiction feed off one another, and often times, the loved one of the addicted person develops their own addiction: an addiction to the relationship with the addict. They become so focused on maintaining the relationship and protecting the addict that they don’t realize they are actually shielding the addicted person from experiencing the consequences of their addiction, which, in turn, extinguishes all motivation to get sober.

Why Codependency is Dangerous

A codependent relationship can be very dangerous, especially when addiction is involved. The cycle of enabling behaviors and substance abuse will continue with no end until something happens that breaks the cycle. In many cases, that event is a tragic one, such as an overdose, a car crash, a job loss, or a divorce.

Avoiding enabling behaviors and codependency will only lead to more problems and cause turmoil within the relationship and the family unit. The only way to break the cycle of codependency and addiction is to seek treatment for both issues and modify the mindset and the behavior of both the addicted person and their loved ones.

Treating Codependency and Substance Abuse

You can overcome codependency and substance abuse problems with the right treatment and support. If you are addicted to drugs or alcohol, a 90-day drug and alcohol rehab program can help you address the psychological, behavioral, and social aspects of your addiction. A comprehensive drug rehab program will also address any co-occurring disorders and behaviors such as codependency.

Since many codependent relationships happen when addiction is involved, family therapy is an ideal way to begin the healing process. At Nova Recovery Center, our family program is designed to:

• Explore family roles and address family conflict
• Develop healthy communication skills
• Teach family members of addicted loved ones how to establish healthy boundaries
• Identify codependent behaviors and learn how to modify them

If you or a loved one is addicted and you’re in the midst of a codependent relationship, call Nova Recovery Center today to learn more about our drug and alcohol rehab and family program.

References

1. Bacon, Ingrid, et al. “The Lived Experience of Codependency: An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis.” International Journal of Mental Health and Addiction, vol. 18, no. 6, 2020, pp. 1612-1631. Springer, DOI article.
2. “Are You Codependent? 13 Signs of …” PsychCentral, Wirtten by Crystal Raypole, Medically Reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST-S, updated 18 December 2024, psychcentral.com: Symptoms signs of codependency.
3. “Codependency: Signs and Symptoms.” WebMD, 1 Mar. 2024, WebMD: Signs codependency.
4. “What Is Codependency? 20 Signs & Symptoms.” PositivePsychology.com, by Jeremy Sutton, Ph.D., scientifically reviewed by Alicia Nortje, Ph.D., 31 Dec. 2024, positivepsychology.com: Codependency definition signs worksheets.
5. Jones, Heather. “Codependency: Symptoms, Causes, Treatment, and More.” Verywell Health, updated 7 Sept. 2025, https://www.verywellhealth.com/codependency-5093171

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